constantly feeling bad about yourself+DRASTIC changes in behavior- narc abuse

Pointless arguments, circular discussions that keep on happening with no end result or solution, nitpicking, micromanagement, magnifying perceived or fabricated faults, gaslighting and altering reality by lying about what happened or pretending what happened in front of the other person did not really happen that way, feeling like you cannot win no matter how much you invest into the relationship, sarcastic and snide comments that are passed off with a "just joking" smirk later, being belittled and having our emotions, capabilities and preferences mocked, trivialized and passive aggressively implied to be ridiculous, creating an us versus the world mentality, convincing the target that others are not n their side and isolating them from friends and family so that they are easier targets, the narcissist's persistence in not letting anything go, unexpected emotional outbursts, cycles of extreme kindness/niceness after emotional attacks, telling tall tales that elicit extreme emotions. These are the ploys narcissists use to abuse their victims and calculatedly, through an entire propaganda campaign lasting months or years, they result in EMOTIONAL FATIGUE, wearing down targets and their sense of self, eroding their self esteem, and resulting in listless paranoia matched with extreme activation when the threat of another conflict seems imminent.
Eventually, the target accepts more and more of the abuse as "normal" and gives up defending themselves or don't try as hard to deliberate over what they see as inconsequential issues, unwarranted emotional attacks and a state of perpetual chaos. Alternately, the target may keep trying harder and harder, only to feel deflated, disoriented and disempowered when they are by themselves, losing their sense of self and self worth, the freeness of their spirit that made them feel so happy and alive before, filled with a constant sense of dream and anticipatory chaos feelings. They buy into the facade that the narcissist is perfect, or at the very least, that the target is very defective- that the narcissist is only trying to point out reality for what it is and selected/manipulated "facts" that they use to justify their actions and lack of taking any responsibility, overruling the target on significant issues while representing to them that they are getting their way.


While those in relationships with these people may be reluctant to leave due to the seemingly purely emotional basis of this decision that other survivors have taken and that they think they can handle their partner versus a 100 percent "rational" one, targets, convinced by the narcissist that they both need each other, have been through so much together, see the world the way the target does, that no one has or will ever love them like that accompanied by the target/survivors coping mechanisms that start playing out as their brain readjusts to the new situations- such as denial, minimizing, explaining to friends and family that their partner is a good person when they point out otherwise, the abuse is as subtle as is it is insidious.





Choosing to stay or not knowing the situation they are in/the enabling of abuse they are participating in by choosing to stay in the dysfunctional relationship, buying into the facade of perfect love that their partner has created, often as love addicts or empaths or abuse survivors with poor boundaries, narcissists choose people they consider easy to manipulate. For them, this translates into people that are more susceptible to guilt, shame, contorting their empathy and using it as a tool against them, trapping them in the integrity trap, survivors/targets, over a prolonged period of time in such relationships start experiencing their desire to do things as severely diminished, their feelings about themselves, their worth and their wealth, looks, mental health, relationships beyond the narcissistic partner, all suffer.





Survivors/targets often do not leave because they, slowly but surely, have bought into the perfect love/partner image, are having neural wiring reset by the abuse and the copious amount of natural chemicals that have a drug-like effect flooding their system all the time. They realize a little later into the relationship or after, the amount of damage that has been inflicted on them, its magnitude and the years of recovery it will take to emerge/process their wounds to get their lost/dwindling self confidence, self love and spirit back. They often develop mental illnesses, experience their mental health becoming worse, running into financial or emotional problems. Sustained and prolonged stress result in the body's immune system to become severely compromised. Often, autoimmune diseases develop, such as arthritis, multiple sclerosis or hyper/hypothyroidism. Or their physical and emotional health declines sharply. All these effects are avoidable- but only if we act in time.

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